Enter Nack the Weasel, Part time Bounty Hunter, Full Time Dumbhead
by nomsayin13
Summary: My name is Nack the Weasel. I'm a bounty huntah in a unknown world that looks lot like my home. Dunno wat I'd find here an' it could be challengin',-'xactly wat a bounty huntah needs- but I 'gotta get back. 'Til then, I 'ope I find wat I'm lookin' for, like an old rival. And sume treasures. Don't own any of the Sonic franchise from the anime or any of the games. I own my OCs.


**Basic rules for my story:**

***No suing (see disclaimers)**

***Use constructive criticism only, flames and other criticisms are not welcome**

***Review and if you wish, answer the question at the end of the story. Don't worry there is a reason why I ask them; it will benefit me greatly if you answer.**

***Enjoy and keep an eye out for more**

_One day..._

I woke up this morn' with no idea where I'd be aside from in the middle o'a field full of flowahs. Them flowahs nectah thickened the air as I'd fumblin' 'round, escaping the nose-cloggin' smells. I'm not allergic ta them plant, but they don't smell great neithah.

I was in those fowers, right? Unsure of what ta do, I stood to my feet, wobbling a li'l. I fumbled 'round for a but ta see if I still have my weapons belt. Yep, still here.

My weapons belt had all the weapons a bounty huntah could ask for: grapple-it-up hook, smell-ya-laterah grenades, imma be blastin' lasitator rifle,-don't worry, it only knocks out people-and lots more. I had more than ev'ryting I need ta get the job done. An' I got hired a lot since ev'rybody needs a person like don't mattah who I work for as long as the pay is good. But if anyting needs huntin', then huntin' I will. At a good payment it feels as I'd be huntin' for lots o'things.

Ya 'brobly noticed my accent, 'least dat's what I call it. My sistah, says I talk like I dunno how ta talk propahly. But that's ta be expected from sumone like 'er. She's one o'those person's who tinks they are so great, like a freakin' queen. On sevahal she called 'erself sophis...sophist...she's just full o'erself! She's so arrogant, it's sickenin'. Now that I'd think 'bout it, that's 'brobly the reason why we don't get along so dandy.

Anyhow, I had no destination in mind, so I'd wondahed aimlessly like a lone bat in a cave. 'Ventually, I arrived ta a nayborhood; rows an' rows o' look alike hauses all lined up like soldiers in the army. The hauses are so closely related tagethah I coulda swore I sawed the same plain seashell white hause the last two or tree times. 'Fter a while, I come 'cross a great big hause- an' when I say big, I mean biggah than any sort o'building I'd evah sawed- wit a great silvah gate, a bright red roof an' a driveaway big enough fo', like, twenty cars. Whoevah owns that place must be loaded. Loaded wit cash an' all sorts o'riches!

I'd stared at that hasue wit a dreamy look on my handsome features. I couldn't do nothin' else, so I just stared at it an' daydreamed 'bout me wearin' sum fancy suit, swimmin' in my own money with a bunch o'people workin' for a grain o'rice. An' the best part is I won't share it wit nobody 'cause they got no guts takin' me on. I'd be the rule o' the people! I'd-

_Click! _Sumone's-a comin'! Normally my first instant is shootin' wit my lastator rifle, but I dove fo' da bushes instead; I am in an unknown world wit unknown tings livin' here so I dunno what I'm up 'gainst. Anyhow I made a bit o'noise but remained silent after that. I peeked out ta see who it be comin' out. A tall thin-eyed man in black came out, his eyes be searchin', seacrhin' fo' an'ting suspiciouserious. Not that I'd blame 'im.

The guy retreated inta the hause aftah a bit, satisfied no one is here. I slowly poked my legs out, then my arms then my 'ead. Purty soon I was out in da open, exposed. I'd takin' a breath 'fore I got me an idea. I would sneak in, right, all stealthy like. Then I would entah the big treasure hause an' look fo' clues ta how I got here. Sounds like a great plan, but how will I do it?

I glanced up ta the gate when 'nother idea came ta my 'ead. The gate. I would climb the gate like nobody's business an' sneakin' in should be a piece o'cake. Mmm...cake.

Pushin' all thought o'cake aside, I put my foot on the bar o'the gate, pushin' my weight on the foot, then did the same thing fo' my utter foot. I ran outta bars quick and I realized I needed a new tactic. Wait a moment: grapple-it-up hook. Yes. That will work. Just grapple the 'ery top o'the gate an' volia! Imma in. I reached my hand out ta the gun and pulled so it can just slip off like a glove, but that darned thing is stuck! Full o'fury, I pulled harder. No good. That little- Arrggh.

I pulled hardah an' hardah 'til I was practically man-handlin' the ting. The situation became supah hard quick, balancin' wit two feet on the gate while tryin' to get the weapon outta my belt. I tugged and tugged at it fo' I dunno how long 'til I heard a loud _rrrrriiiiiippppp! _An' the gun an' my belt went all loose on me. My belt fell straight ta the ground, the end o'it curlin' like a snake. Meanwhile the grappling hook bounced in the palms on my hands fo' a bit 'fore collapsing on da ground, at least a good six feet from the height I climbed.

I groaned. All o'my hard work an' this is how I'd be repaid?! Just once, just one time can life be easy fo' me? 'Pparently not. I needed that gun; I can't git ta any high places without it. At the same time, 'ough, Imma so close ta gittin' up ta the big hause my effort would mean nothin' if I jumped now.

'Fore I could make up my mind, the gate moved. Sumeone's-a comin' and Imma not hiden from 'em! The gate opened all the way and I lost my balance and fell in them bushes. I might've screamed a bit and I let out an _ooff! _I fell right on my back, pain shootin' all ovah my body. I'd be lucky if I'd not break any bones. I rolled ovah to my side, makin' the leaves rustle wit my movin'. The pain refused ta go 'way. As I thought anger thoughts, the person-who'd be a girl, woman even- who opened da gate and called, "Is there anyone there?"

The woman went ovah to them bushes I'd be at, tore apart the bushes and gasped. "Aye! Are you alright?" She had dark skin, wore a blue dress and spoke wit a Spanish accent. Not as good as my unique accent 'course. She scooped me up in 'er arms and ran ovah to the hause. All I could do was wonder what else would be a happenin'. With no answers given, I drifted inta a nap.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

I'd be awakenin' again ta the sound o'the girl-woman 'cuse me- walkin' 'round the place, hummin' a mary tune. I groaned a bit cause the tune she'd be singin' rang in my ears. Soon as I let out a noise, the woman was at my side instantly.

"Are you alright darling?" she asks me.

I nod then I'd says, "'Course I'd be fine, why'd ya asked?"

"You looked badly hurt," the woman replied, keepin' her hawk-like eyes on me. "There are no broken bones or any injury of the sort, so thank goodness you are alright!" The woman be pickin' me up as though I were a little boy. I'd nearly be gaspin' for my life that woman squeezed me hard! She released me soon as she saw I'd gasped fo' breath. "Lo sento," she said-stop speakin' sumeting I nevah heard of- "I have gotten carried away. Would you like some soup?"

My ears perked up. "Soup?" I loved soup."Ya mean the sorta soup that has them bugs in it?"

The woman gave me a funny look. "No...but if you like, I can fix that up for you," the woman's cheerfulness returned.

"Yes I want sume," I replied, more than anxious ta make the woman leave; I need time ta come up wit a new plan. An' if I don't come up wit a plan, at least I'll have my soup.

The woman disappeared inta the kitchen. As I waited, I spotted sumthing outta the winda; it was a mix o'blue and red. That's when I 'membered sumthing: that was the exact colorah mix I'd sawed when I'd gottened a contract long 'go, but who? I taught and taught 'bout it. _What was his name, what was his name_ I taught o'er and o'er 'gain. Still I could not 'member.

I cursed to myself for havin' the poorest memory outta the family! That guy, I coulda sworn I'd seen 'im 'fore. He was blue, ran 'round an' 'round lots, and had them green eyes...

O'ourse! It was Sonic da Hedgehog! How did I not 'member this from 'fore? I'd a contact ta kidnap dat little booger years back an' now I'm here an' he's here... I gotta go an' redeem myself an' catch 'im once an' fo' all! I gotta catch Sonic!

But first, there's the woman. I've got ta dispose o'her quickly. I sneaked my way in the cooking place- don't 'member the name- then spotted 'er just mixin' whatevah's in da tiny pot. 'Robly full'o bugs 'xactly like I asked. My brain went 'rough lotsa options; throwing a smell-ya-later grenades, tie 'er up wit my grapple-it-up hook, or even a swift punch in the shin. All sounded good ideas but only one idea I could do.

I got tired o'this quick so I just threw a smell-ya-later grenade and ran outta the door. The smell o'bad eggs seeped 'rough the doors, dissolvin' in the open air. That is 'nough ta knock out anyone. An' have them tink they is sick.

Nevah mind that I gotta get Sonic. It's been years since I last seen 'im, sure an' my boss says he ain't worth the trouble no mo', but I still wanna redeem myself wit 'im; the boss was intent on catchin' the fiend then so it might make a diffahence that I get the hedgehog and I bring 'im ta the boss. I could even get the promotion I rightfully deserve!

Excited, I ran fastah than evah, scannin' 'round fo' the hedgehog; _gotta find 'im, gotta find 'im, gotta find 'im _my thoughts ran like crazy. Holy cow I forgot how obsessed I'd be with the hedgehog. Not as obsessed as that one pink hedgehog but still; I don't care 'bout 'him, I care 'bout the money 'volved wit it. Long as the hedgehog is alive and brought 'fore my boss, I'm happy.

I stopped in my tracks; I'd heard sumthing but I dunno what it is, but it sounds like talkin'. I look ovah my shouldah and see not only the blue hedgehog but also a purple hedgehog too. They haven't noticed me yet thank goodness, so I decided ta hide 'hind the nearest place I could find: a tree.

I went ovah ta the tree, lettin' the huge bark cover me up from the still unsuspectin' hedgehogs. They hadn't seened a thing! If I could only from a plan, Sonic will be in my bounty huntah net. I chuckled ta myself at the taught o'it.

Suddenly the purple hedgehog turned over at my direction. I covahed my mouth ta suppress the laugh, holdin' my breath. The hedgehog made 'er way here, carefully inspectin' the tree, ready ta attack if necessary. She proceeded ta look at the back o'the tree, sumthing I ain't prepared fo'. I froze in place, waitin' fo' the hedgeghog ta see me. There ain't no point in just hidin'; far as I know she ain't got no idea 'bout me.

She spotted me right 'way. "Ummm...what're you doing here?" she questioned, eyeing me as though I is a criminal.

I fumbled 'round for any gadget ta help me while keepin' eye contact wit'er. "I is just... ya know, playin' hide an' seek wit my little brothah," the words leaked outta my mouth like watah ta a broken pipe.

"In our backyard?" the hedgehog put her hand on her hips, fully demandin' my real intention. "And what're you doing digging in your belt?"

I didn't bothah answerin". Instead I kept my fingers movin' in my belt, finally findin' sumthing that could be o'sum use: my lasitator rifle. I pulled it out heroically an' all an' I says, "Ya bettah freeze yahself if ya know what's good fo' ya!"

The hedgehog looked startled and did as I said an' stretched 'er arms ta the sky. Howevah, I now had the blue hedgehog's attention. "Get away from her!" he shouts an' gives me a kick my hand, my rifle slipped from my fingers.

"Haven't ya evah heard o'askin' fo' permission 'fore ya knock sumthing outta sumone's hand!" I growled.

"Can someone tell me what the heck is going on?!" the purple hedgehog shrieked, her voice exaspahated.

Sonic stopped sendin' me death stares long 'nough ta answer 'er. "That's Nack the Weasel," he points at me. "He and I have had a bad history, he's tried to capture me, hold me hostage, boil me in oil-" I don't 'member that one, 'lieve me- "and he tried to kill me once," Sonic listed all the tings I did ta 'im-some I 'member, others not so much- countin' his fingers.

The purple hedgehog glares at me. "You did all of that to Sonic?"

"An' more," I replied wit a grin, getting out my other lasitator rifle, the gun aimed directly at 'er. I opened fire, the beams hittin' 'er body. She fell back, unconscious.

Sonic eyed the hedgehog in shock den immediately switched ta anger. "You're gonna get it big time," he yells as he forms inta a ball, ready ta homing attack me.

I bumped inta the tree, an apple fallin' onta my lap. I took out my lasitator rifle once more, openin' fire again. I hit 'im a few times, I saw, but that didn't seem ta stop 'im from homing attacking me once more. I fell backwards, stumblin' 'fore I landed on my bum. I knew I had ta change tactics an' fast.

That's when I got myself an idea that ain't gonna fail. I shot my beam ovah ta a neierby mirror, shootin' back at once back toward me! I ducked but Sonic hit the beam, burnin' 'im slightly as he took the full blast. He, like the purple hedgehog, became unconscious. I grinned as far as my mouth would allow; finally! It happened! It really happened! I finally captured Sonic the Hedgehog! Wait 'til my boss sees this!

I slithered ovah ta my prize, fully admirin' it. You're a dead hedgehog now Sonic 'cause when my boss is through wit ya, he's gonna pay me an' you'll be nothin' mo' than a...than a... I dunno. You won't be a hedgehog no mo' no doubt 'bout that.

'Fore I knew it, I was in the air, a bright red mark on my cheek. It happened so fast that I barely had enough time ta react. I had 'nough time ta look down an' notice a giant gloved hand. What the bloody heck? Where'd that hand come from? I'd come back ta reality as I heard the air zippin' through my ears.

I founded myself screamin' at the top o'my lungs, thinkin' nothin' but my well-deahrved doom. This is it. This is the end of Nack the Weasel, the infamous bounty huntah back on-

Wait, I'd be in a diffahent area. I get a strange sense that I'd been here 'fore: the place was completely dark 'cept fo' the small light glarin' at a circular area with a chair. An' in that chair was my boss, completely clothed in a dark hood. He's gota reputation for being intimidatin', but I didn't care at the moment; the sight of sumting familiar shot relief 'roughout my body.

I'd ran ovah ta his feet. "Thank goodness you'd be here," I says. "But how'd I got here?"

"I teleported you here," he informed me. "I also sent you to Earth in order to kidnap the fox boy, which you sadly failed at."

I couldn't quite believe my ears. "W-what?" I don't 'member doin' that at all! All I 'member is goin' ta bed last night an' wakin' up in a field full o'flowahs. The boss could not've sent me here!

"I sent you on a mission to redeem yourself," he confirmed. "And you brought back nothing. Now you must pay."

"No boss, please no mo'!" Me an' my darned memory!

"Don't be so glum," he consoled. "You've proven yourself better at handling slightly more..._harmless _things rather than _harmful. _Now I think it's time to send you on something a little less... challenging."

I knew right 'way what he is going ta say. "Don't say it."

"Kitchen duty."

He said it; the one job I absolutely hated doin', even mo' than I hate it when tings go wrong, an' that's sayin' sumting.

"It's that," the boss continued. "Or you serve as Sargent Simons punching bag."

Well, dare are worse jobs an' ev'ryone knows that Sargent Simons is a super strong solider-like monkey. He works out all the time an' he constantly looks fo' people who will be his own punchin' bag. He wants da workout ta fell 'realistic,' he says. 'If it ain't realistic, it ain't no challenge,' he says ta us 'gain an' 'gain. Still I hate kitchen duty so much I almost wanna be a punchin' bag. Almost. I got on my knees, sumting my Dad told me nevah ta do, but at that point I was desperate. Eithah beg or risk losin' my job. "I swear I'd almost had 'im, if it weren't fo' that purple hedgehog-"

"Wait!" the boss interrupted. Even 'uogh he's clothed, I can tell I captured his interest. "Tell me more about this 'purple hedgehog', will ya."

I grinned, eagah ta reveal all the details o'my new target.

_Hmmm suggested foreshadowing. QOTS (Question of the Story) who is "the boss"? Where are they exactly? Let me know your thoughts and/or your predictions._


End file.
